Brandon Bollig Shows Patrick Kane How It's Done

You must have seen the Bourne and Mission Impossible espionage films.  Now here's the latest undercover agent uncovered, totally butt naked, so to speak, during one training session.  Agent B52 - Brandon Bollig, that is - shows everybody how it's done.

Notice his pre-stickhandling ritual. A little spitter on the blade does the trick.

See that sweet spin-o-rama in the second segment.  Agent B52 pivoting on that left skate, like an Olympic figure skater.  So he gets a little frustrated, when he flubs the segment.  Everyone gets a little frustrated, right?

Then he falls down to his knees, so what?  Best puck angel, like, ev.ver.

Dramatic sequence:  off-screen (pause).  Slip-sliding across, out of nowhere, like on a flat water slide.  Off-screen (pause).  

What's wrong with picking up the puck?  Nothing.  That's what I thought.  I propose ah.nother NHL rule change.     

Finally Agent B52 goes Paranormal Activity and all on us.

It's not like there are 100 pucks on the ice during a real hockey match.  There is only one:  Ergo Agent B52's stickhandling is perfection, I'd say.  Ergo unstoppable.

Patrick Kane is Agent K88, and you see his stickhandling needs a lot of work.  He does just fine in a hockey match, because there is only one puck.  But put two or more on the ice, and it's remedial hockey time, baby.

So he does good in one segment, that don't impress me much.  

Pick up the puck with his stick, meh.  A two-year old can do that.

Fire a mid-air wrister at the camera, fake.  Any YouTuber can do that.

Don a Superman cape to show off what he's got, in skills competition, puhleeze.

Agent K88, reporting for duty.  Step aside.  Yawn, next.

Up next, Joey the Junior Reporter goes Joey the Junior Stickhandler.  

Look for it.

Thank you for reading whatever, and don't let me know what you think!

Ron Villejo, PhD